I Am 46 Years Old and I’m Being Bullied
Here are five ways I am coping.
I’m a 46 year-old American man originally from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. I am now living in a beautiful, safe, and spiritual town in the south of Mexico.
I left the United States to attempt to heal from the impact of long-term bullying.
It’s become hard for me to trust people. I don’t know many people who would have an easier time doing so, considering the degree of interference in my personal and professional life.
I’ve learned that it is nearly useless to continue to talk about the details of what’s going on even as it’s ongoing. The moment that I begin to speak openly, hearing the truth results in people running away from me or attacking me.
Despite this reality, in spite of this reality, or perhaps more likely in defiance of the abuse I’ve faced and continue to face, I know there are a lot of people out there experiencing similar kinds of abuses and I write this article for them. Because they matter as much as I do.
While it’s true that some victims of extreme bullying take their lives because they can’t withstand the toxic pressure, I’m happy to disappoint those bullying me by empowering other victims of bullying with my story and with what works in helping me be okay.
For me speaking as a survivor, knowing that one person has benefited from something I have to offer and that maybe they can share that with someone else and start a chain reaction of healing and empowerment makes my withstanding the abuse absolutely worth it.
I am 46 years old and I’m being bullied. Here are five ways I am coping
1. Caring for feral animals and wildlife
Now that I live in the south of Mexico and things are a little bit different than they are back in the United States, it became obvious that the animals on the street needed help. In my opinion, it wasn’t just that they needed help; it’s that they were worthy and deserving of help.
During the past 13 months of living here in Mexico, I have personally taken in two cats. In Mexico, it’s not uncommon that you’ll make one or two or five friends who literally operate a zoo out of their home.
The details of my life resulted in me becoming a bit of a nomadic person and, therefore, I am cautious about making long-term commitments.
Both my cats come and go as they please, and that’s just the way it is.
In the past month, I had the privilege of helping save the life of a small female cat who I found on the street. According to the veterinarian, she appeared to have been kicked and she required surgery or would have died. She is currently recuperating from her surgery and is still at the veterinarian’s office. Thank you to the friends back in the United States who sent donations. Their donations were passed on to the veterinarian and a local woman in my town and I paid the rest.
Yesterday morning around 7 a.m. I woke up and saw a tiny little creature running in circles on my back terrace. She, as we came to find out, is a baby Tlacuache.
Tlacuache. Say that five times fast.
A Tlacuache is a Mexican possum, and possums are some of my favorite wild animals. She was a baby and it was obvious she was scared and upset because she was endlessly running in circles.
Well, I captured her and fed her, and she spent the day in my laundry room. At 5 p.m. she was taken to a local veterinarian.
Thankfully, this precious baby has now been united with two other orphaned baby Tlacuaches and they spent the night sleeping together with the love and warmth of their new family, each other.
Be still my beating heart.
2. Make a prayer of gratitude before every meal
As a white man living in a country of relatively brown people, I stand out. I also look like a punk rocker because I am a punk rocker and I live in a hippie town that attracts somewhat more tame expatriates.
I usually wear black everyday and often have some sort of naughty word or borderline offensive image on my shirt.
I’m also a weirdo, somewhat socially awkward and usually prefer being by myself. And my Spanish is not so hot.
So with that said, I’m also a spiritual man.
When you’re a spiritual person, you pray or you engage in some sort of prayer or something similar that helps you connect with the universe. When you’re a spiritual man, a punk rocker, a weirdo and you don’t speak the language of the people around you, you have the freedom — if you choose to accept it — to spiritually connect.
So any time I eat a meal and the food is in front of me, I take my headphones off and close my eyes and I put my hands together and I make a prayer of gratitude. I ask the Universe to help me become a better person and help me do more good things in the world.
This helps me endure the bullying (the emotional assaults) that I face on a daily basis.
3. Use natural plant-based medicine to help me to balance my thoughts and emotions
As a man who has been harmed by pharmaceuticals, I advocate for natural plant-based treatments to cope with inner turmoil, emotional pain, and trauma.
I’m grateful to live in a town where there is a lot of information and access to natural healing treatments.
As I come from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, a state that legalized cannabis while I was a resident and I had the support of a doctor who wrote me a prescription. It would be disingenuous of me to not speak highly, if you will, of the healing benefits of plant-based medicine.
One of the ways I’m able to balance myself and not fall prey to the ego-driven, eye-for-an-eye mentality that is so prevalent in the United States is by using plant-based medicine. It allows me to make better, more grounded and balanced decisions.
4. I engage in conversations with people I know and meet in their language that I am learning.
I live in a Spanish speaking country and I am a native English speaker who did not know how to speak Spanish when he arrived.
Admittedly, I arrived a very hurt man. I don’t know if many people could have done a much better job finding some peace, tranquility, connection, and community considering the many incredible and outrageous factors that have been part of this journey.
Nevertheless, reality is reality and finding myself (as the English language idiom best illustrates) “going up shits creek without a paddle”, I did what I had to do to become a more complete, whole and healthy person.
I had to tap into my heart energy and allow my inner warmth and beauty be an avenue to connect with others. Knowing that I didn’t have many options, I’m quite blessed that this approach resulted in amazing progress.
It has not been easy finding ways to cope with the ostracization and the bullying. It’s been so intense that I had to leave my country-of-origin to have any chance at all of staying alive and living a good life.
All things considered, I must be doing something right if you’re reading this blog and at this very moment feeling your heart swell with emotion.
5. Somehow I’ve learned to forgive myself in every moment
I could spend my time dissecting myself for all the things that I’ve said and done while I’ve been under the gun. “Under the gun’ is an idiom in English that means being under real intense pressure. Even as it’s not my responsibility for how others treat me, it is my responsibility to find better ways to cope with the ongoing abuse, bullying, gas-lighting, and harassment.
I know it must be terrible to read this truth of mine that I’ve been unable to get these abusive people to stop interfering with my life. I’m left with no choice but to live with this. I want to live and I want to be happy and I have to find Better Ways for Better Days and that’s what I’m working on doing.
In closing, please believe me when I tell you that I would love to live in a world where people didn’t act like this but that’s not the world we currently live in and the next best thing I can do is share some of this wisdom I’ve gained the hard way, with people whose lives may benefit and improve as a result.
Thank you and please remember that no matter what anyone says to you and no matter how they treat you and even if they knowingly harm you, which is just twisted and wrong, you still have inherent beautiful true value as a human being. You’re worthy of being loved, cared for, honored, and respected.
